itsartipatel

September 2018

I officially started my medical school adventure at RUSM. I was beyond excited to be starting a journey that I had always dreamt of. I was turning my dream into a reality, and it meant the world to me. I still remember packing my things (I definitely over-packed due to all the excitement) and having my parents help move me into my apartment in Knoxville, TN. Due to Hurricane Maria, the campus had relocated in January 2018. I was very happy that I got to spend my first semester a lot closer to home since I had never lived so far away before. Although it seemed like home at first, I quickly realized how homesick I was when we moved further into the semester. 

Orientation week

Orientation week was jam-packed. Although everything was very informative, a lot of the sessions were more technical than academic-related. I didn’t realize how high the standards would be as a medical student. Even though still students, we are expected to be more professional, all the way from how to address professors in emails to how we act outside of campus. The academic portion of the orientation sessions was much more interesting. We got tips and tricks on what study resources to use and even got to hear from upper semester students and alumni. Although I know that whatever we were told was for our best interest, I wish they had been a little more real with us. It seemed that all we were talking about was success in first semester. But no one wanted to talk about the failures that students could come across. And I’m sure many other students, including myself, would have wanted that. 

One of the more important discussions we had was on the grading policy. RUSM had a cutoff score for the MPS (average overall grade) and MPEL (grade for each discipline). We were recommended to try and keep our MPS at 70% or higher and our MPEL at 65% or higher. By doing so, we would indirectly know if we’re passing the semester or not. Although MPELs are not part of the grading system anymore, MPS is still present. The MPS is decided by taking the average of all the students’ grades. It’s also important to know that a student must pass both the basic sciences and clinical portion for each semester in order to move forward. 

Anatomy lab orientation was the most memorable part of orientation week for me. Being in the anatomy lab for the first time was an eye-opener for me. I had never seen a cadaver before, but I was mesmerized at that moment. I felt grateful to be in that spot at that time. To be able to learn the human body using a human body is beyond comparison. My cohort was the last one to have experienced the anatomy cadaver lab at RUSM. And, I am forever thankful for the families and loved-ones who allowed us to have this experience to gain knowledge and learn. 

New Student Orientation Schedule

Tuesday, August 28	Campus Check-in
Wednesday, August 29	8-9:30am Welcome Breakfast9:30-12:30pm Student Life Discussions1:30-2:30pm Words of Wisdom2:30-3:30pm Study Apps and Resources 3:30-5pm IT orientation
Thursday, August 30	8:30-12pm Academic Discussions1-5pm Anatomy Lab Orientation
Friday, August 31	8:30-12:30pm Student Success Discussions1:30-3pm Mentor Group Meetings

Week 1

Monday, September 3 was the first day of classes. I remember waking up earlier so that I wasn’t late for class. But, that didn’t last too long. I got into a car accident and went into panic mode. More than worrying about whether I got hurt or if the car was okay, I was worried about not making it to class on time. That was the only thing I cared about at the moment. Luckily, it wasn’t a major accident and I was still able to reach campus in time for the second lecture. Even though I made it safely to class, I was unable to focus the entire time. I kept thinking about the previous lecture that I missed out on and the condition of my car. A morning that was supposed to be simple turned out so chaotic for me. Once I got home, I had to deal with the insurance company. It took so much of my time that I wasn’t even able to get through the first lecture of the day. I tried not to get bogged down and told myself “it’s only one day, I can catch up tomorrow.” Little did I know that one day would pile up to so much more. The next few days were just as exhausting with anatomy lab and multiple lectures in the mornings. I was barely able to review and take notes on one lecture each day. When Thursday rolled around, all everyone was talking about was the white coat ceremony. I had so much material to get through, but I was also very excited about the ceremony and seeing my parents. 

White coat ceremony 

Friday, September 7 was a day I would never forget. We still had lectures that Friday morning and I remember being eager to get home and get dressed for the ceremony. Being surrounded by our loved ones and celebrating the start of a new journey was something we were all looking forward to. I cannot think of a single face that was not smiling that day. It felt amazing to see the joy and happiness on my parents’ faces and to share that moment with them. The only downside of the ceremony was that it was scheduled during the first week instead of before classes started. With one week already being done and another on the way, our first exam (Mini 1) was only 9 days away. 

Mini 1 & Mini 2

The day after the white coat ceremony, the grind towards Mini 1 began. I was upset to see my parents go home early because I had to study. But, I knew this is what I had to do. I had 2 days to catch up on all of week 1 lectures before week 2 started. I tried my best, but I was still unable to get through all the lectures. Moving into week 2, I was trying to balance going to lectures, taking notes on the slides, doing practice questions, and reviewing with other people. It seemed like everything was going well. The day before the exam, I woke up earlier and got to campus to work on practice questions. After a few hours, I got tired and decided to go home. Once home, I realized that I wasn’t reviewing any material and decided to talk some things out with my friend. As we were discussing topics, it hit me that I didn’t know majority of the material. I felt so unprepared for the exam but there was nothing I could do at that point. The next day, I took the exam and stayed calm the entire time. I knew that stressing out would do no wonders on my score. As soon as the exam was over, I went home and stayed in bed. When the email came out saying our scores have been released, anxiety took over. I knew that I wasn’t going to have the best score, but I didn’t know it would be that low. Below average by 13%. I kept thinking in my head “This is it. I’m going to fail.” I couldn’t even pass one exam, and that too, the first exam. I didn’t want to do anything. I felt worthless. That day, my best friend was my savior. He explained that one exam doesn’t determine whether I’m going to be a good doctor or not, or if I’m going to pass first semester or not. As simple as it sounds, he was right. I couldn’t let that one exam stop me from moving forward and succeeding. The following day, I decided to work towards Mini 2 from the start. I was taught in MERP to “eat your pancakes.” This meant that whatever lectures we were given for the day, we should be reviewing those before the next set of material is presented. I started feeling a little more confident in reviewing the material with other people when Mini 2 was around the corner. Not 100% confident but I did feel better than Mini 1. When I opened my score report for Mini 2, I was 1% below the class average. I know it’s still not the best. Nowhere near good with the amount of effort I was putting in. But, it was still an achievement for me. I was happy to see the improvement and was determined to do even better next time. At the same time, I had also improved my anatomy lab practical scores by taking additional time to go in after hours and practicing on the cadavers. Although it was important to have basic anatomy knowledge, I also had to put the effort in to physically work on the cadaver and learn the human body in a more hands-on method. 

A bumpy road ahead

Lecture material for Mini 3 was much easier for me to learn and understand since I had seen it before in undergrad and MERP. I also decided to stop going to class and start watching them via Panopto (online platform). It was a better study method for me because I was able to pause the lecture when needed and even change the speed of it. Instead of having to rush and write down notes during class, I was able to work at my own pace. Although things were running smoother than before, I was required to schedule a mandatory meeting with my advisor because Mini 2 was still not good enough to bring my grade up. I was looking forward to the meeting to see if I could get any extra help or study tips. The meeting was nothing like I had expected. Instead of being valued as a student and being cared for, I was shut down with negative comments. The advisor was calling me out on everything she thought I was doing wrong and didn’t even tell me what I can do to improve my scores and learn more efficiently. The most hurtful comment was when she told me I was most likely not going to pass. With 2 exams, 1 lab practical, and a final exam left, she had already decided in her head that I was not fit for medical school and would be repeating semester 1. I didn’t know if she was right or wrong at that moment. But I had to pull myself together and keep pushing through. I worked even harder and started being more precise with my schedule to be as efficient as I could be. Mini 3 was the best I had done so far. Scoring 5% above the class average, I was more determined than ever. 

Thanksgiving 

Thanksgiving was just around the corner once Mini 3 finished. As excited as I was to go home and see my family, I had to remind myself that I can’t stop studying. I would wake up earlier each morning to get some studying in so that I could spend the afternoons and evenings with my family. Those 4 days spent with them re-energized me and gave me the motivation to finish up the semester strong.  

Mini 4 & the final exam

As the semester came close to its end, my best friend and I buckled down to be as productive as we could be. Since Mini 4 was only 1.5 weeks of material, it was a little easier to study. I decided to work on one exam at a time. First, I tackled Mini 4 and did decent, scoring the same as class average. I used the next 3 days to study for the lab practical but unfortunately it did not go as well as I wanted. The final exam was the biggest monster to tackle. With 14 weeks of material to get through, it seemed like a never-ending tunnel. We went through all the high-yield topics and discussed them multiple times. I felt alright going into the exam, but everything was a blur when I walked out. People around me were talking about the answers and it seemed that I had put something different for so many questions. 

Waiting for the results 

The scores were released around 7pm the day of the final exam. I remember going to dinner with friends when I received the email. I wish I had not checked my score at that time, but I couldn’t stop myself. 2% below class average. I kept thinking in my head that I failed. I tried to enjoy dinner and the rest of my night but in the back of my mind, all I was hoping for a low MPS so that I could pass. As soon as I got back to my room, I was putting all my grades into an Excel grade calculator. I was passing with flying color for my MPELs. MPS, on the other hand, was not looking good. If the average was going to be 70%, I had already failed. But the school doesn’t release the official grade until 1 week later. The entire week was dreadful. I tried to stay productive by packing up my things and spending time with my friend, but at the end of the night, I was all alone, praying that a miracle occurs. When the official email came out, I was shocked. I passed. Only by 1% though. As ecstatic as I was to know that I get to move forward, it was an eye-opener. That anxious feeling that I felt in my gut all week long was something I never wanted to experience again. On top of that, I wasn’t able to choose if I wanted to do the accelerated or regular-paced curriculum path. I was automatically enrolled into the regular curriculum. Although upset at that time, looking back, it was for the best.  

[Lesson learned from Semester 1]

Make a change when it is needed because any change is better than being stuck in one spot.

I was so used to doing things the way I did in undergrad and MERP that I didn’t want to take a chance. I was scared that changing up my routine and study methods would ruin me. But it took a bunch of failing grades and almost failing the entire semester to realize that change was very much needed. I will be completely honest here. I felt like I did not learn anything during Semester 1. I was so caught up in trying to pass because I was always failing and performing badly. I wanted to learn and retain knowledge. But I was never able to do so because I was studying with the wrong mindset, the wrong study methods, and 0 discipline. That day I decided to make a change. A change that would allow me to make the most of my time at RUSM and advance further.